Finding My Inner Stillness

Deck is the Antique Anatomy Tarot by Claire Goodchild.

I’m going to be putting disclaimer on this that some of the images might be a bit graphic given that these are anatomical drawings. Please read this at your own discretion.

One thing I tend to struggle with is finding inner peace. This is to do with the fact that I have struggled with anxiety and depression in the past and have been working diligently on developing better coping mechanisms for these issues. I started noticing it coming through relatively profoundly during my time in college because of the pressures to get things done and the constraints on my time. Luckily, I had a good support system then (and still do now so thank Spirit for that.) I am pleased to say that most days are good for me with the occasional break that I need to rest from. I developed this spread to help me identify where I might be triggered, how I might be able to cope with the triggers and what I have at my disposal to get me through. Lets see what my cards have to say.

THE CARDS

9 of Coins: abundance, success, money, lavish lifestyle, prosperity

The Wheel of Fortune: karma, cycle, fate, change, opportunity, luck

4 of Rods: celebration, joy, success, harmony, gifts, marriage

2 of Rods: instinct, planning, outside the box, action and idleness, balance

Strength: confidence, patience, stamina, trust, courage, compassion

So, in reading my cards, it seems that the top two worries that keep me from being able to settle into my inner peace are to do with changes (as seen in The Wheel) and where my success and money are concerned (as seen in the 9 of Coins.) I know that neither of these cards are bad in and of themselves. In my mind, these two cards represent the desire to have the ability to provide for themselves and the fact that everything changes (and there are no exceptions to this for anyone and anything) I need to keep in mind that whenever I feel like my inner peace is slipping away from me, I need to know that I am confident and patient enough to trust myself and get myself through the tough times. If I can maintain the stamina, celebration and the joys that successes can bring will be mine to enjoy, however, the way to do this is the plan carefully and follow my instincts. Ultimately, a balance will need to be struck between taking action on what I need to do and resting when I need to. Both are needed to be healthy and the trick to finding my inner stillness will be finding when to be active and when to be idle.

What I find interesting about this reading is that the dominant element is fire (I’m getting here because in this deck, rods stand in for wands. Fire is the associated element with wands.) I think, metaphorically, the trick will be to tame and harness the fire I’m feeling in me right now so I can achieve a long lasting peace and not get consumed by it. But we’ll see how well things go here.