Holding Back? Let It Go.

Deck used is the Everyday Tarot Iby Bridgit Esselmont

To give a little background about me as a person, I was a bullied kid. I’ve made no secret of this in past posts on my other social media accounts, but I wanted to talk about it here because the bullying has had a profound effect on me even to this day. I’ve had to struggle to find a voice I can be proud of without fearing the repercussions of living my truth. There’s a secret to this though and that is to not get so attached to the idea that you have to be someone else’s idea of perfect to be worthy of your voice. Perhaps this is something I need to do some reflecting on. Let’s see what my cards have to say, shall we?

The Cards

from the Everyday Tarot by Bridgit Esselmont

Ace of cups: happiness, joy, bliss, abundant creative opportunities, new loves, friendships, and creative projects.

Page of swords (reverse): holding back from expressing your truth, let go of fear and shout it out from the rooftops.

The Empress: abundance, creative flow, motherly archetype, Divine Feminine energy.

Sometimes I hold myself back from speaking when I need to. Perhaps this comes from many different places, but the thing that stands out in my mind is the fact that I was bullied as a kid as I mentioned in the opening to this blog. I don’t consider myself very good at public speaking even though I’ve been told I come by my communication skills naturally, and that I’m good at talking with people. Sometimes I think I do better at writing things down rather than trying to publicly articulate what’s on my mind simply because I can get the words out relatively easy and I don’t have to fear the repercussions of saying what I need to say. I think this comes from being introverted and anxious oftentimes, however, perhaps I have some qualities in me that I am overlooking. Perhaps the abundant maternal energy that comes through in this is important to hold onto because this is what I can fall back on when I don’t do well in expressing myself or finding the confidence to speak my authentic truth.