I Can Surrender

The decks used for this reading are listed in the sources tab

When I did this reading, I decided to approach it a bit differently than I did with the past large scale readings I did. With those, I went in blind and let my intuition guide me through the cards I got. With this one, I decided to use my intuition to formulate guiding questions for myself. What I mean here is that any thoughts that came to me were written down and reflected on after everything was noted. Again, there’s some interesting dichotomy with this one that I want to talk about so lets get to the cards shall we?

The cards

cards pulled from various decks

"In any moment, I can surrender to the powerful presence of love through prayer, contemplation and stillness"- Gabrielle Berenstein

3 of crystals: collaboration, productivity

5 of swords: sometimes, we just can't win and the stability we have worked for has now been shattered. Try as we might, sometimes, we just can't win.

Justice: the consequences of your actions are at hand

Strength: confidence, gentle strength, openness, overcoming destructive impulses, the ability to do something difficult with grace and courage

Mora (she who hesitates) Ponder, delay, confidence,

Imperial Topaz (generosity) Small acts of thoughtfulness and kindness make a big difference to another's happiness, giving, joy, generous praise

King of cups: responsible, honest, kind man, creative, educated or a professional in his field, liberal, poetic, artistic, religious, legal, businessman

Knight of Wands: you're being controlled by your impulsive nature, there is nothing wrong with being spontaneous, but keep an eye on your game and don't get bored enough to walk away half way through.

The fool: good friends, happiness, needing to take a leap forward

Judgement: rebirth, acceptance, purpose, awakening, resurrection

Will O' The Whisp: illusion, fallacy, false impression, self-delusion, wishful thinking

7 of pentacles: harvest, reap what you sow

5 of swords: you have been engaged in a win-lose conflict and trust as been broken. Seek solutions to move to a middle ground or move on

Skunk: know your worth

5 of clubs (the devil), Temptation, attachment, control

7 of bones: view your situation through the qualities of fidelity, loyalty and faithfulness. These will give you a sense of belonging and grounding in the world

6 of cups: take a break and remember a moment when you felt joy. It's time to recharge your spirit

Rhodonite: go with your heart

The Magician: deception, opportunist, puppet master

7 of cups: illusion, imagination, unrealistic desires, possibility

Void-of-course: nothing will come of this situation

7 of pentacles: patience, investment and sustainability

King of swords: logic, uncluttered thoughts, manipulative, the need for peace and privacy, things need your conviction

10 of Vessels: generous fulfillment of desires from a source that is pure and cleansing, a reward for patience and love given selflessly, stability and freedom

In the introduction, I talked about noting any thoughts I had about the reading and the first thing that came to mind is the dichotomy in this, the differences between the cards that are presuming to hold me back and the cards that are offering solutions. These led me to ask myself what in my life can hold me back and has held me back in the past and what can I do to help myself move past these things so I can get on with my life.

To address the first thing, I see quite a bit of impulsivity, illusion, manipulation and desire for control over everything in life (do you see the impossible standard this sets up here guys?). There have been times where I’ve been deceptive and hurt others with the words I’ve said and actions I’ve taken. These things have had profound consequences and have led people to have false impressions of me. But these things are only here because I’ve chosen to let them in. These things are illusions I’ve set up around myself to make the reality I live seem one way, when in fact, it isn’t. Nothing will come of me doing this to myself, in fact, it will only cause the consequences of my actions to feed the cycle of negativity and to be honest, I don’t want to be on that wheel anymore.

The nice thing is that this reading presented me with the answers I needed. One I need to know when to cut my losses and walk away. It does me absolutely no good to hold onto air, especially when you’ve lost the most important physical elements you need to rebuild. Secondly, understanding that actions have consequences, both good and bad, will help me here because if I do something that harms another, harm will come back around to me. I need to have strength, faith and confidence enough to know when I’m okay to put my energy into taking care of others and when to step back and take care of myself. There will be moments where taking a leap of faith in something will be required, and even more than that, I will need to follow my heart and have patience to know when that time will come. Perhaps there will be moments when I will be underestimated and knocked down, but knowing my worth and having patience will help me see fulfillment, stability and selflessly given love.