That Self Love Thing

Deck used is the Zombie Tarot by Sarah Graham, Paul Kepple and Ralph Geroni. Disclaimer for mild gore and graphic images. Please read these posts at your discretion if you are sensitive.

Lately, it feels like I’ve been looking at my emotional space a lot. I’ve been in a space (as we all have) to assess what really matters to me and how I can take care of the things I value most. This has let me to come to some major, albeit painful, realizations about who I am and what I need to do to make sure I’m leading the life I want for the highest good possible. The question becomes how do I take care of myself in times when my heart is heavy and I’m feeling low? Let's have a look at some cards to get our answer.

The Cards

from the Zombie Tarot by Sarah Graham et al.

Knight of swords: brave, ego, lack of emotion

9 of Hazards: prosperity, independence, confidence

Ace of cups: new relationships, beginnings, emotional journeys

The lovers: romance, sex, blinded by passion

2 of wands: choices, crossroads, decisions

King of cups: empathy, diplomatic, generous

9 of cups: wishes, dreams, material and physical happiness

4 of hazards: selfishness, hoarding, possessiveness

Page of swords: inquisitive, headstrong, observant

5 of cups: loss, sadness, grief

The first thing I need to pay attention to is where I’m pretending not to care. The thing is that I don’t know how to not care. My heart is right on my sleeve and I don’t hide my emotions very well. I’ve always lived a very open life in terms of my emotions. Yet sometimes, I pretend I’m a hard-ass which is laughable considering what I just mentioned. What I think will help me out is identifying where I’m pretending to be indifferent and work to develop the confidence in this area so I can lead myself to prosperity and independence. I also need to make sure that I understand where I’m having trouble speaking my truth because understanding this will help me heal. I may be at the start of a new relationship, emotional journey or beginning but that doesn’t mean that I’m not going to have moments where I’m blinded by the things in front of me. I need to understand that there are always choices to me made and things might not always come easy to me. When this happens, I need to treat myself generously and with empathy and remain diplomatic when there are many options to choose from.

When it comes to embracing my truth, I need to know that my dreams and wishes do count for something because it’s exactly that energy that helps me set and achieve goals for my future. I need to learn to work and make sure that my life is authentically and unapologetically lived because it’s this energy that’s going to get me through the tough times when I’ve spent my energies hoarding good things that need to be shared with other people. This stinginess hasn’t gotten me anywhere in the past and it won’t help me in the future, so asking what other people need from me is going to be a good start in clearing out the blocks in front of me. Making and respecting my boundaries is what’s going to help me reconnect with my truth, even through the bad times. Yes, times of loss, grief and sadness will happen to me as they happen to us all. But staying true and open-hearted will be what helps me move ahead.