Time To Focus

Deck used is the Urban Tarot by Robin Scott

Sometimes, getting focused on my tasks is hard for me to do because there are moments where I simply want to do the easy thing and give up. I procrastinate, I try and justify why I can do the hard thing right away. I wanted to see where I could take this spread, because at the end of it all, I’m seeing my anxiety playing a part here, especially where my website and my blog is concerned. I just want them to be the best they can be and a small part of me tells me I’m not good enough to do the work. What lies!! *scoffs* I know I have what it takes to make this work, but it feels like something holds me back. Let’s see what I can do with my cards.

The Cards

from the Urban Tarot by Robin Scott

4 of swords: Here we see the power of the rational mind. Having an objective mind on the issues we face helps us to see past our differences and put our emotional differences aside. We find ourselves being more tolerant of those whose opinions differ from ours as well as an end of hostilities. We also see how these issues are solidly balanced and though old wounds haven’t quite healed, the pain they cause has very little in the way of power when we see this card come up in a reading.

The devil: This card represents all the ways we fall prey to our addictions. It is the representation of our hedonistic desires, fears and self-doubt. All these things can hold us back from what we truly want in life because it is playing directly into our egos. I am going to put a positive spin on this and say that if we can recognize what our inner Devil is doing to us, we can work to counteract the energy we feel from this card.

5 of swords: here, the tentative truce we reached with the four of swords has been overturned and we are back to feeling the conflict we sought to get past. This card is meant to teach us that no matter how much we think we have things figured out and no matter how much we’ve won in the past, the winning streak we’re on simply won’t and can’t last forever.

2 of swords: the idea we had with the Ace of Swords has now crystallized into something that we can hold as perfectly obvious to us. It’s so much the point that we find it hard to imagine life as it was before the idea came to us. This mentality brings us peace, and yet somehow, it is short lived. Getting the idea from theory into practice might prove a bit more than we anticipated. Perhaps we are missing how the consequences of our behavior will affect the outcomes in the future.

9 of wands this card represents the idea of that one little ember that won’t die out, no matter how much we try and extinguish it. It is the spark we need to keep going when a job seems thankless and unrelenting. It is the endurance to keep going long after we’ve used up everything else in the process of working to our goals.

So I think the main takeaway from this reading is that I’ve been battling my intellect and what I know to be true of myself and the fact that my anxiety has been rearing its ugly head lately. I get here because between the Devil card showing up and the three Sword cards, I need to make sure that I understand what’s going on a little more. There are some things I’m feeling about my work that are holding me back; things like being scared of what others will think, trying to find a happy and sustainable balance between what is expected of me by others and what I expect and want for myself. The thing is that even though I am feeling some kind of way about everything right now, I am getting through the hardest parts. I have that one little ember in me that won’t die; it’s the inner voice in me that JUST WON’T BE QUIET. I need to take pride in this because it’s offered me so much determination and endurance to make it through the hard parts. While there will be moments when my inner Devil seems like it’s shrieking at the top of its voice, my fire will always get me through.